Wasting my Life..

There is  a song I knew in High School that said something along the lines of, "I'm wasting my life waiting for you, yes it's true, I've been wasting my life on you." In general I'm pretty sure the song is about waiting for a person to fall in love with you, but my Love loves me and this is not relevant for me in that context. However, it seems to fit perfectly with other relationships in my life at times. For some people it's really hard to go out of their comfort zone and check on people, ask how their day is going or how it went and that sort of thing. Mostly, I am blessed and this is not my trial. This does not mean that it's all peachy and wonderful. There are moments when I feel that I have reached the last straw or the last attempt at friendship. I keep asking and hoping and my heart is out there dieing for that moment when they call and say, "hey lets get together and chat!" or  "how are you today?" But instead I have somehow hit a wall. The wall that says, thanks for being my friend but I'm not really interested in you being my friend or frankly of being your friend in any way. I know I am guilty of doing this to others. I have a friend right now who seems to be reaching out to me and lets face it I'm sucking at being her friend back. I need to step up because honestly, I do want to be her friend. Which, also leads me to believe that I could be completely misjudging the situations with people who have done this to me as well. It's strange when I feel like I have wasted time trying to be friends with someone and then I often feel stupid. Then there is that tiny bit of hope still left in my heart that says, maybe this time they will actually want to reciprocate. So, eventually I keep trying. Being friendly can hurt, but being a loner always hurts, at least for me.